


I Can See Right Through You

by Inphinity



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Secret Santa, Snow, barlyle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 04:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17176325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inphinity/pseuds/Inphinity
Summary: Phineas Taylor Barnum makes a Christmas wish, one snowy night. When things seem dark and hopeless, a big change brings about new possibilities and perhaps even new love.





	I Can See Right Through You

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Santa gift fr the lovely @Fandomingrandom in Discord!!<3  
> Beta'd by my favorite person, Schizanthus. The fandom's best editor and cutest tiny bun.
> 
> Enjoy!

Christmas was approaching and the blanket of snow covering the grass outside of the Barnum household glistened in the light from the streetlamps. Phineas leaned against his hand at the windowsill as he watched the first evening stars twinkle through the clouds.  
Despite the smell of mulled wine heavy in the air and the sparkle of Christmas decorations hanging from every surface, the showman was filled with a sense of cold emptiness on this evening. The evening on which his ex-wife had informed him she would be taking their daughters to her parents’ house for Christmas.

It had been many years since he’d spent Christmas alone; dressing up as Father Christmas for the girls, cooking dinner with Charity and drinking hot chocolate together around the fire as a family had been a tradition for so long now that he wasn’t sure what he was going to do with himself without it. The impending silence on what was supposed to be a day full of love was frightening.

His mind drifted to the Circus. Only a few more days until they broke for the holidays so that the troupe could take time off to celebrate. Many were going home yet a few were staying to celebrate together in the dormant tent. Perhaps he would join them. He dreaded the last day, more so than anything else, because there was one more person he would miss terribly over the holidays.

Phineas couldn’t help but feel the yearning tug of his heartstrings as his business partner flashed through his mind. The soft hair and kind eyes, the accidental warm touches between their hands as they work side by side at his desk to look over plans together. A strange and unnatural desire, one he needed to force away, and yet his heart ached for it. It hurt to think that he would not see the younger man until nearly the new year.

With a heavy sigh, Phineas pulled away from the window ledge, eyes still fixed on the heavy snow clouds and twinkling stars above.

“Starlight, star bright, first signs of grace at night. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight,” he mumbled quietly, playfully tapping his fingers against the glass as he thought for a moment.

“…I wish I could just…vanish for a while. Stop having to think of all these dreadful things. I’m not sure I like the holidays this year, I’d rather just disappear.”

After a pause he let out a small chuckle. Wishes, a ridiculous thought really. Turning on his heel, Phineas retired to his large empty bed and waited for sleep to come.  
\--  
Morning light streamed through the holes in the lace curtains and assaulted Phineas’s face. With a groggy groan and a stretch, he tugged himself out of bed to begin his morning routine. Washing his face to splash away the sleep, using the chamber pot, getting dressed for the day, cleaning his teeth, and finally breakfast.

Breakfast was laid out as usual on a long table, untouched since the girls were still fast asleep. He sat himself down to sip at some hot coffee and chew on some toast, glancing at the servant stood vigilantly at the end of the table.

“Delightful as usual, Theodore. Thank you.”

An awkward pause followed and Phineas squinted his eyes as the servant did not respond or even grace him with a look. Shrugging it off he continued to eat, perhaps the chap was just tired. They did get up awfully early to prepare all the food.  
\--  
An hour or so later he arrived at the Circus. Plodding from the train to the docks in the heavy snow felt like a longer trek than usual. Despite his soggy appearance when he entered, no one made a comment. In fact, no one seemed to notice him at all.

There was something peculiar and unnerving about wandering through the bustling crowds of acts setting up in the ring for a day of rehearsals, with no one stopping to greet him good morning or ask for assistance with something. Usually it took him nearly an hour to make it to his office in the morning through stopping to help with various tasks. Today there was nothing, not even a glance in his direction.

“Lettie, good morning. How’s the-“ he attempted, only to be cut off as the bearded lady pushed straight past him as if he wasn’t there at all to help Anne hoist up a sandbag and secure a rope.

“C’mon, joke’s over. It’s first thing in the morning and I am not in the mood. Why is everyone ignoring me?” he called out, suddenly beginning to feel a little ticked off.

When no one responded or even glanced over at his raised voice, Phineas groaned in irritation and turned around to make his way up to his office. They could set up just fine on their own, he didn’t have the patience for pranks today.  
\--  
The office was chilly and he had wrapped himself in a blanket to work, occasionally nursing a cup of coffee at his desk. It had been over an hour since he’d started on paperwork before Phillip finally wandered in, impeccably dressed yet looking still half asleep as always. He never was a morning person, it was one of the things that Phineas found just a little endearing.

“Morning Phil.”

No response.

He let out a small groan and shook his head, returning to his paperwork as the other removed his coat and sat down.

“Not you too? I don’t have the energy for this today.”

No response.

Phineas took another sip of his coffee and glanced over at his partner wearily. “Phil, please. I just found out last night that Charity is taking the girls away for Christmas. Can you just tell everyone to call off this joke, it’s not funny.”

When he still didn’t respond in the slightest, Barnum stood up in frustration and paced around to the front of the desk, slamming his hands down in front of the younger man, who didn’t even flinch.

“Phil!”

No response.

Opening his mouth to offer an irritated argument, Phineas was suddenly distracted by the decorative mirror hung upon the wall behind Phillip’s head. Or more, the reflection he could see in it.

Rather, the reflection he couldn’t.

Reaching out hesitantly, he touched the cold glass to make sure it was real. Could a mirror stop working? The back of Phillip’s head was clear as day, as was the wall opposite, and the door. 

And yet, he could not see himself at all.

Suddenly it hit like a ton of bricks and his stomach twisted painfully.

“Oh god, I’m dead. I’m dead. That’s why you can’t see or hear me.”

He found his knees going weak and sunk to the ground, body too heavy to hold up. What was going to happen to his girls? To the circus? How did he die? Why did he still feel like he was here? Too many questions buzzed and the world felt like it was spinning.  
\--  
Phineas woke to the sound of his name and, for a brief moment, relief washed over him. His back ached from being out cold on the wooden floors and he sat up, expecting to see someone concerned and watching him. Instead a hazy image of Anne perched on the side of Phillip’s desk came into view.

“I mean, his coffee is on his desk and it’s still hot. But no one has seen him all morning. It’s really weird.” 

His coffee.

Phineas’s eyes darted to the still-steaming cup on his own desk and he nearly passed out again in relief. He wasn’t dead. There was no way he could make coffee if he was dead.

But if that was the case, what was happening? Why couldn’t anyone see him?

Memories of he night before came flooding back. With teeth grit together, he sucked in a cold breath. His wish. He had wished to vanish for a while.

He was invisible.

“I’m sure he’s just out somewhere, he’s always wandering off. Every time he gets a new idea, he’s on his feet and vanishes without any explanation. It’s like sharing an office with an excitable puppy.”

Anne giggled at Phillip’s comment and it grabbed Phineas’s attention. He pulled himself back to his feet and perched on his chair to listen in. Part of him felt wrong for eavesdropping, but they were talking about him, so he felt it was just about justified.

“You love it really. You’re always going on about how fond you are of his energy.”

“I’m fond of just about everything about him. He’s a good man, Anne.”

The words warmed Phineas’s heart as he listened, leaning on one hand and watching their cheerful friendly discussion as it moved from himself to the rehearsals to what they were doing for lunch. Eventually he decided to give them some privacy and snuck out of the office to join the rehearsals downstairs.  
\--  
Morning became afternoon and afternoon quickly became evening. The show went on without a hitch. Phineas enjoyed watching from the side-lines for once, it was a good spot to admire his young partner’s rather noteworthy rear as he danced. When the crowds finally dispersed, he lingered around to watch as the acts cleared up in a team effort.

“Going home for Christmas this year, Carlyle? I bet your family has enough of a feast to feed a small city,” Lettie asked casually as she helped the young ringmaster to untie one of the ropes from its stand.

“Didn’t get an invite from them this year. Guessing my involvement with the Circus is still something they’re not fans of. Doesn’t matter though, Christmas at home is always stuffy and suffocating.”

The woman looked sympathetic and gave him a soft pat on the shoulder as she turned to help Charles to sweep up the peanuts in the stands. “Well, you’re more than welcome to come spend Christmas with us, honey.”

“Thanks, might take you up on that.”

Phineas leaned into a stack of elephant hay as he watched the interaction, eyes drooping sadly for the man. It must be Phillip’s first Christmas alone, too. He ached with regret that he couldn’t go over and offer a reassuring word.

When the troupe was all set up and done, footsteps began to leave the tent until the two of them were the only ones left. Phillip wandered around checking to make sure that no customers were left over hiding about, before closing up the tent for the day and heading home.

Phineas stayed patiently with Phillip as he waited for a carriage. He didn’t like the idea of the man lingering alone in case protesters happened to be hanging around.

When the carriage finally arrived and Phillip climbed in, Phineas made a split second decision and climbed inside too. He wasn’t sure why and he most certainly did not have a plan. Somehow, he just wanted to be close to the younger man right now.  
\--  
Stepping into Phillip’s apartment, Phineas noticed for the first time just how organised and neat the other man was. Books were tidily stacked in alphabetical order on shelves surrounding the room and everything was spotless. Phillip wandered in with a yawn and draped himself over the couch. Phineas couldn’t help but watch in adoration the relaxation of his movements and the softness of his face. He briefly wondered if he was being creepy lingering in Phillip’s apartment and watching him, so he sat down opposite as if he had been invited in.

“Gerald? Is dinner ready?”

Phillip’s valet stepped into the room as if on cue, pacing over and laying out a tray of food on the coffee table.

“Will you be eating in here again today, sir?”

“Yes, I think so. I’m exhausted, it was quite a day. Barnum vanished so I took over.”

Phineas sunk back a little in guilt as he watched Phillip move a bowl of stew onto his lap, taking a spoonful and blowing on it as he kicked off his boots.

“So I take it you’ve yet to have a chance to discuss matters with your business partner?”

Phillip seemed to sink into the couch too at the words, cheeks tinged a little with colour as he pushed the spoon into his mouth to avoid answering. The valet merely raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’ll have to confront the gentleman eventually, Master Phillip. While sodomy may perhaps be sinful, not following the voice of your heart is a much worse crime.”

Phillip nearly choked on his food and Phineas jumped out of his seat.

“Gerald, please. You know it’s not that simple. He only divorced his wife a year ago, and he has kids to think about, and I doubt he shares the same…romantic interests. It’s hardly something I can just bring up in conversation. He’d likely fire me on the spot.”

Phineas’s heart stopped for a moment and he held the back of the sofa to keep himself up. Eyes fixed on Phillip as the words fluttered through his chest like butterflies.

“Perhaps tomorrow then,” Gerald exclaimed cheerfully, turning on the spot to leave Phillip in peace to eat. “Make sure you eat your carrots today, I know you have been hiding them.”  
\--  
Phineas let himself out shortly thereafter, beginning the long walk back towards the train station, his heart still pounding in his chest.

Phillip loved him. Phillip wanted him. He felt like love was rushing through his veins and keeping him warm in the icy winter night. He found himself nearly skipping as he boarded the train.  
Within the hour he had made it home, quietly plodding up the front steps in snow-covered boots and letting himself in, careful not to wake up Charity and the girls who would likely be in bed. He whisked himself up to his bedroom and got ready for bed, washing himself off from the grime of the city, pulling on a nightshirt and washing his teeth once again.

Sliding over to the windowsill, he once again glanced up at the stars, whispering a thank you before pulling himself into the warmth of bed, filled with the hope of another day.  
\--  
Light assaulted his eyes as morning came. This time, instead of a groan, Phineas pulled himself up with a smile as he stretched. He hopped out of bed and began his morning routine; washing his face to splash away the sleep, using the chamber pot, getting dressed for the day, cleaning his teeth, and finally breakfast.

On his way to the table he glanced at the mirror hanging in the hallway, smile growing wider on his face as he stared back at his own rumpled morning reflection.

“Good morning, Theodore, breakfast looks delightful today.”

This time the servant nodded to him with a smile. “Thank you sir, I hope you enjoy,” he muttered as he let himself out.

Phineas finished up breakfast in record time. As he rushed around to prepare for the day, he glanced at his snow-dampened shoes by the door. His heart throbbed with excitement as he remembered the night before and revelled in the fact that it was not a dream.  
\--  
Poised at his desk, Phineas sipped his coffee as he watched the door eagerly, awaiting the arrival of his young partner. A plan to make Christmas about love once again swirled in his mind.  
He was so caught up that he almost jumped out of his seat when the door opened and Phillip wandered inside, looking as usual dressed to the nines yet half asleep with the morning. He perked up when they locked eyes.

“Where were you yesterday?”

“Not important. Close the door.”

Phillip narrowed his eyes hesitantly, shutting the office door behind him. “What’s this about?”

Phineas stood up, weaving around the table and approaching the younger man. In an instant and without warning he pulled him into an embrace, causing him to drop his briefcase in surprise.

“We are both going to be alone on Christmas this year. So instead, how about neither of us do? Spend it at my place.”

Phillip blinked in rapid succession. He cautiously wrapped his arms around the older man as if unsure what to make of this situation. “Uh…sure? I mean, yes. I’d like that. I mean…are you okay?”

“Never better.” Phineas murmured, picking Phillip up and swinging him around once.

“Never better.”


End file.
